Saturday, January 28, 2006

Andy Marte to Join Girl Scouts

Most teams hold spring training each year, but when the Cleveland Indians report to Winter Haven, Fla., they hold Girl Scout Camp. At Girl Scout Camp, it's not about winning but rather building character, becoming a good citizen and learning to wait your turn. Last year fans tried to tell the scout mothers that Grady Sizemore was ready to join the parent club, but the scout mothers were too smart for that. They knew Sizemore needed to learn to wait his turn, so they signed the oft-injured 37-year-old Juan Gonzalez to an incentive-ladened, one-year contract with $600,000 guaranteed. Gonzalez, realizing it was his last chance, responded with one AB in which he could not reach first base before being carried off the field. And the $600,000? Who cares; the fans picked up the tab. And Grady Sizemore? The Indians were forced to call him up to replace Gonzalez. And you know what? That rookie was too stupid to know he was being rushed, so he batted .289 with 22 HR and 22 SB in 640 AB and was among the top 10 or 20 most productive outfielders in many fantasy leagues. What a dumb rookie! Now the Indians have acquired 3B Andy Marte, who some say is the most exciting hot-corner prospect since Mike Schmidt. But Marte must not be allowed to make the same stupid mistakes that Sizemore did. So Marte will be packed off to Buffalo, and Aaron Boone and Casey Blake, both 33 and with a combined .240 BA last year, will get the playing time. Remember, at the Indians Girl Scout Camp it's not about winning; it's about learning to wait your turn.

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