More Disgusting News About Madonna and A-Rod

The Daily Star brings us the unfortunate news that a hidden camera captured self-proclaimed Catholic Madonna and her alleged buddy A-Rod engaging in sinful congress. In other words, a sex tape. Or in other words, vomit inducing footage of Madonna.

Basically what it sounds like is that some photographer, no doubt of French descent, set up a hidden camera in an apartment that these two misfits visited. Things happened and now Pierre wants 1 million euros.

The Daily Star is making a huge deal about all the legal ramifications of such a tape. Who really gives a crap. If this tape exists, this is terrible news for just about everyone who hears about it (God help those who accidentally watch it). It's also excellent news for Cynthia Rodriguez, whose divorce may become even more lucrative.

Madonna Catholic, A-Rod Faithful

Madonna's Brother outed her as a Catholic on Good Morning America this morning, so her affair with A-Rod must not have happened.

According to her brother, "she's still a Catholic girl" and for that reason it's "highly unlikely" that any fornication took place.

"It seemed absurd to me," he continued.  Yes, absurd.  Absurd like the time she tried to crucify herself.  Absurd like the time she tried to have David Letterman smell her underpants on the air.  None of that happened either.  A Catholic would never do such things.

A-Rod Leads an Amusing Life

In between signing $275 million contracts and choking in the playoffs, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez has been cavorting around with this broad.  Google "Madonna ugly" for more unfortunate pictures.  Needless to say, Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce.  

Well done, A-Rod.  You're A-Rod, you are married with 2 kids, and you are parading around with a woman (so to speak) who was aggressively taking the world of perversion by storm during your days as a fetus.  Dolly Parton must have been unavailable, or more likely not interested.  

A-Rod denies these allegations, but nobody really believes him.  Maybe they would if he wasn't spotted on an apparent date last year, during which he took a stripper to a strip club (good one dips@*t).  

Madonna, who will basically be a senior citizen by the time A-Rod is 40, also denies these allegations.  Nobody really believes her either because she once kissed Britney Spears (ah sick).